sometimes pain is a splash of water
and sometimes the eye of the cyclone
sometimes you feel like you’re gasping for air
and other times, sinking in a bottomless ocean
but in the end, the truth is that you always wash up to the shore,
build a hut there and learn to live.
A.S.
my heart, little bird
my heart, little bird
yearns to find, that world
that once was, ordinary
and the calm that it served
but the little birdy knows
that’s not how she grows
she no longer has to stay
little bird flies away
A.S.
Dinner
you were famished.
I brought you a plate
slip slip it slipped down your hands
in pieces, in a spate
my heart broke
almost a stroke
it was the only plate I had
so I chipped a piece
right out my heart
and made it better, a tad
done with the meal
you wiped your face
and felt better, I guessed
the food was just not good enough
you said to me
and left.
A.S.
❤️
you love her
she loves you more
you hurt her
she still loves you more
you take and take
she gives and gives and gives
A mother’s love knows no bounds.
A.S.
Our Movie
Looks like our movie
just ran out of film
I could’ve sworn I had some spares
but now, the chances seem slim
Been trying for hours
to get the reel fit, back inside
The lenses have turned dusty
& the projection isn’t very nice
The gears have turned rusty too
What worth really, is to repair?
Guess, it’s time to find something better
although, this one truly was rare
Even tried turning the wheels anti-clock
Guess, I messed it up even more
Clearly, past is not where we live now
so I reckon, I’ll just toss it out the door
Looks like our movie
just ran out of film
My favourite,
saddest movie of all.
I could’ve sworn I had some spares
but the chances seem slim
So I’ll take a match
And burn down our theatre hall.
A.S.
One small room (covid diaries)
one small room as wide as the world
next to a stack of books, old and new
soaring fever highs, phosphorescent sky
amid four walls made of powder blue
thoughts cynical flying volatile
I couldn’t tell if you’re really here
hallucinations, in the dead of the night
illusions seeming frighteningly real
sulphur raining down my face
a moment of rest is lost, never found
a small magic sound box on my bed-post
humming softly, keeping me sound
feigning life like Johnsy of Greenwich
this little green life turning ochre next to me
It’s not going anywhere, no not on my watch
It will thrive again, tall, bright and free
It can’t be how I’m doomed
the heavens must be maddened
Indeed I cannot deny I’ve felt things
I probably wish I hadn’t
One small room as wide as the world
amid four walls made of powder blue
so many have left already, it’s a sham
I cannot afford that, I’ve got so much to do
21/04/2021
A.S.
Farewell (to my grandmother)
And so my grandmother
I bid you farewell
As you leave and climb up
Up the heavenly stairwell
I may not fit in your lap anymore
I’ll always be your child
For whom you prayed & prayed & prayed
And (finally) brought Back to life
I’ll miss those big innocent eyes
Under the plastic frames
And how you’d want to talk
But couldn’t remember my name
I hope wherever you are
You’re at peace and Finally unrestrained (& finally not in pain)
For my dear, one day or another
I know, I’ll see you again.
A.S.
Knew
Dark eyes messed up hair
Swinging, back and forth chair
Heads turn, eyes meet
Doubtless insecurities
I didn’t notice you
I lie, but it’s true
The air between, turned blue
And that was the moment
I knew.
Cold air, on my face
Eyes closed, head dazed
You walk, past me
I turn, only to see
You turn, your head around
Catch me, without a sound
Your sins were due
And that was the moment
You knew.
A.S.
I am glad ( For all those who grew apart)
I am glad
For your stone cold words
They made me realise
You’re not a part of my world.
Though I will remember you
Keep you in my heart
As how you were when we met
Not as when we grew apart
I will leave now as I thank you
For how you ripped my heart to shreds
Finally I am free
As I pull and snap the thread
I am glad
Of how different you’ve grown
But since I never did
You are no longer my home.
A.S.
Rainchecked
I guess we both knew what would become of us
During those horrid times
Horrid for them, not you and I
Those were the best of crimes.
Dark were the nights and so was the day
The fastest run I had
Star-crossed and doomed forever
But it ended somewhere sad.
I still remember that great sprint
Which lands me to hilarity
As clock is ticking, I know quite well,
I’m further gaining clarity.
The dark days and the dark nights
They’re still my happy place
I do remember the hazy grass
On which you set the pace.
So I came back around
And so did the dark.
The clouds pass by too sometimes
But you rainchecked the eleventh hour.
A.S.